The new calendar

It's amazing to me how much stock people put into the idea of a new year.  Without getting too much into the philosophy of time - after all, time is just a construct of man to prevent everything from happening at once - I can safely say that if there's snow on the ground at 11:59 on New Year's Eve that there will still be snow on the ground when the ball drops at midnight.  Nothing is dramatically altered when we put up a new calendar: the amount of change from December 31st to January 1st is roughly equivalent to the amount of change that occurs from Flag Day Eve to Flag Day.

But yet, new year traditions abound.  Oh fuck it, let's call them what they are: superstitions.  Some say that you should throw the doors of your home open wide at midnight to allow the old year to escape, as if it were some kind of squirrel or raccoon that needed to be ushered out of your house.  Seems like actual squirrels or raccoons would be more likely to come into your house in this circumstance, which would be in direct violation of the "first-footer" superstition that demands the first visitor of a house in the new year be a healthy, prosperous man of dark complexion.  Then there's the notion that nothing should leave the house on New Year's Day - not even garbage - as it is a harbinger of net loss in the new year.  I feel bad for anybody who throws a party, especially one where people follow the age-old practice of vomiting out the demons of the past year.*

Of course, these superstitions also tend to involve food.  I remember growing up in a house that always had some variety of pork and sauerkraut on January 1st.  What I didn't know as a child (and I'm not sure if the family knew either) is that this came about because the pig roots forward when it forages.  Cows stand still when they graze and chickens scratch backward into the dirt when they peck for food.  So, symbolically, eating pork is a testament to progress.  A little strange that we don't emulate other pig behaviors on New Year's Day, though I suppose if you're one of the aforementioned garbage retainers you could make the argument that you're wallowing in your own filth for the sake of future prosperity.

Interestingly, there's no hidden meaning behind the sauerkraut: it was simply a readily available winter vegetable that was complimentary to the traditional pork.  Though I'm not superstitious, I'm happy to learn that I wasn't ushering in bad tidings by turning my nose up to this rotting cabbage for the past thirty-some years.

This year, I think I'm going to make a bacon-wrapped pork loin roast (because if pigs really do bring good fortune, why not double up?), some Hoppin' John - traditional Southern New Year's food with black-eyed peas, rice, chopped vegetables and smoked pork (I'm using jowl bacon, but a hock will do just fine) - and Dijon slaw with fresh cabbage and carrot, prepared thusly:
1/2 lb. grated carrots
1/2 lb. shredded cabbage
1-1/2 tbsp. Dijon mustard
1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/2 tbsp. red wine vinegar
1-1/2 tbsp. scallions
1 tbsp. chopped parsley
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. dried rosemary
1/2 tsp. sugar

Combine carrots, scallions and parsley.  Thoroughly mix mustard, olive oil, vinegar, salt, rosemary and sugar, then combine with carrot mixture.  Chill overnight, then combine equal parts carrot mixture and cabbage before serving.

Happy New Year everybody!

*OK, I made that vomit thing up, but here's a big list of actual new year superstitions to help you ring in 2013 in a manner befitting a society without advanced technology.