Quick Pitch #2: Steve Albini's Ramen

If you're like me, you were probably at one time a broke college kid, broke post-baccalaureate bachelor/bachelorette, in-between-jobs/finding-myself twenty-something, just-spent-my-entire-savings-on-a-see-through-guitar-even-though-I'm-old-enough-to-know-better young adult, or something similar.  If that's the case, you've probably had five or more packages of ramen noodles in your house at some point and you're probably hoping that you never have to eat them ever again.

Here's the thing: that cheap, boring ramen soup can be transformed into something palatable - dare I say, even good - in the three minutes that it takes to cook those noodles.  Now I've never had authentic ramen noodle soup, but recording engineer/musician/punk rock provocateur Steve Albini has and his quickly dolled-up approximation certainly hits the spot, even if - by his own admission - it's not as good as the real deal.

The key ingredients here are everyday kitchen staples: garlic, soy sauce and an egg.  The other ingredients are a little less common (fish sauce, vegetable boullion, rice vinegar, sesame oil, sriracha) but can be substituted easily with common ingredients if need be.

Start like you normally would by boiling 2 cups of water.  I use the "original" flavor Sapporo Ichiban packet or the "oriental" flavor Top Ramen instead of vegetable boullion.  I've used the beef and chicken flavors with this method, but I prefer the original/oriental.  Mix the packet into the water and then add the soy and fish sauces (a little fish sauce goes a long way, mind you).  This is a "to taste" addition and you can always add more to the finished soup.

While that's working up to a boil, separate an egg yolk from the white and drop the yolk into your bowl.  You can dispose of the white or fry it up, julienne it and mix it into your finished soup.  Whatever you feel like.  The world is your egg white.

When the broth reaches a boil, drop in the noodles.  You have three minutes.  You will probably only need two or two-and-a-half.

Mince or press a garlic clove and put into the bowl with the yolk.  Give a modest squirt of sriracha (or chili-garlic sauce as pictured above, or another hot sauce of your liking, or even just some red pepper flakes), again "to taste" and you can always add more later if it needs it.  Drop splashes of sesame oil (optional, but delicious) and rice vinegar (I suppose white vinegar would be OK here too, but rice vinegar has a distinct flavor and is milder) into the bowl, then beat the whole mess together to form a suspension.

By now your noodles should be about done.  Here comes the trickiest part: while whipping the egg mixture with a fork, pour in the boiling broth.  Try to get the broth out before the noodles plop in the bowl; you want the hot broth to cook the egg without curdling it and the best way to do that is to keep the beaten egg in motion while the broth is added.  When it looks uniformly mixed, plop the noodles into the bowl.

You're pretty much good to go now, though you can garnish the soup with some fresh ginger, cilantro, basil, bean sprouts and/or scallions (like I did).  The egg-thickened broth is a huge improvement over plain ramen in consistency alone, but also, as Steve says:

The egg has the effect of holding the flavors in suspension in your mouth so they linger a little longer, particularly the garlic and sesame, and combined with the fish sauce and soy, gives the soup a nice umame quality.

Combine all of this with the fact that you can literally have this put together in the time it takes to make a decent sandwich and you've got a reason to reacquaint yourself with ramen that doesn't involve personal financial disaster.